It's Saturday, which means it's as good a time as any to get up to speed on all of the news you may have missed this week with a little help from The Punch-Up!
And what a week it was...
We had a bullfighter on the wrong end of a horn, a hockey team getting cursed by a rooster, and a CNN reporter's kid becoming the voice of the nation while interviewing Hakeem Jeffries.
There's plenty more where that came from, though, so let's dig on in!
LPGA STAR NELLY KORDA SIZZLES ON THE BEACH, DEMS WON'T STOP DANCING & GIA DUDDY WHIPS UP A BIKINI LUNCH
Former ESPN reporter Adrian Wojnarowski's anti-Trump views are causing issues with donors at St. Bonaventure University, where he now works. "If it doesn't work out there, give us a call," said all of the Ivy League schools.
King Charles' personal chef says the Monarch can expect the "Best of America" on the menu when he visits for an upcoming state dinner. So, let's hope the king likes Egg McMuffins and Arby's curly fries.
A CNN reporter's child asked House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries why Democrats are not viewed fondly by voters. In light of this, the network has since fired the child.
An Edmonton Oilers fan threw an entire rotisserie chicken on the ice during the team's playoff game against the Anaheim Ducks, and they have now lost two straight games. So, while groceries may be expensive, you can still curse an entire hockey team for just $4.99 at Costco.
ZERO BS. JUST DAKICH. TAKE THE DON'T @ ME PODCAST ON THE ROAD. DOWNLOAD NOW!
Bullfighter Jose Antonio Morante de la Puebla, known as the "King of Bullfighters," was gored by a bull's horn and sustained a perforated rectum. Afterward, the bull said it was just making good on its promise to the other bulls that it'd "tear that guy a new one."
First-overall NFL Draft pick Fernando Mendoza threw a terrible first pitch at a Miami Marlins game this week. "That seals it - we've got our guy," said the Las Vegas Raiders.
Got all of that?
Good. See you back here next week.
